Posted by: janetleigh | August 26, 2007

Untitled

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He drew a cobweb of mist,
hung it six feet above the land; a
running ribbon
……………chasing
the curve
……………of Goose Creek
…………………………until it ran out of sight
behind Johnson’s silo
down the road a piece,

mammoth mountain
splays a hip of conifers,
conversing the valley in
bunny hops
……………….butterflies
………………………….buttercups –

how the water quivered
with delight, when
I slipped in
………….china doll white limbs
into velvet down lake,

you left me
this quiet

trees
earth’s long slender fingers
reaching up
touch the face of God,

as you left…

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Responses

  1. To me, this is very calming. A nice window of your experience. Thank you.

  2. Thank you for your kind comment about this piece, jeffox. I never thought of it as being calming. It’s really helpful to me to get feedback from readers to learn whether or not a poem works. Some poems need further work and constructive criticism can help me in that respect. Thanks for taking the time to leave your impression of the poem for me, jeffox.


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