Posted by: janetleigh | November 21, 2007

Beg Life

beach_rev_brianinang.jpg

We drink, ’til distant friends arrive
rise out of range, loom ghostly
recede again

A thought walks in, asks
and what of life?
“..aging, sea change, choosing”
always choosing
one more Dutch door
then drifting, drifting
toward another endless chore

We walk this lunar beach – beg life
from birth to earth’s end
to learn what good come from this, when
despair will reign the soul to cry

&

we die to love
we weep for joy
our worst our best
we love to death

Life’s a beach
combed clean
unless you know the time of birth
of a single wave

Spartan thoughts fuel our bloated bodies
engorged on luxuries
double helpings of a thin line drawn too fat
reflects mourning – too many mirrored warnings
and oh God we beg for more
……………………….we beg for more

&

life’s a drama
then we die
beached whales
done in by our own wailings

There is no end to beginnings
start line or finish line
we’re all finished
in the end

we do not heed Heaven’s plea –
save the plankton!

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Responses

  1. Hi

    About the I Promise Blogroll and S. Thomas Summers blog.

    I’ve been leaving comments on there without a problem. Though his site is not blogger or wordpress so it is slightly different than the others.

    Right underneath his latest poem Diggin It is a picture of a dog and next to that a picture of a woman. Below that is a line that says View comments, post comments, permalink.

    Click on post comments.

    A white box comes up. You have to type a screen name into it. Then below that type your comment and press post.

    Let me know if you still have trouble after trying this.

    Sara

    Hi Sara. I want to thank you for the time you took to explain to me how to leave a comment on S. Thomas Summers blog. I admit I chuckled at the blow-by-blow directions because I do know a Comment link when I see one..;> Summers must have fleshed out his blog lately, i.e. actually put some poems up and provided a Comment link. The last time I visited his blog, maybe a week or 2 ago, there was only the name, The Lint in My Pocket and no Comment link. Of course, when I went to his blog after reading your comment, voila! some poems had been put up and the accompanying Comment link and text field were operational. If it’s been operable since he signed up for the I Promise Blog project, then it’s obvious I’ve been recently released from the Twilight Zone I’d been trapped in for weeks…;> Glad that’s been cleared up. You’re a great lady to put up with me. Thanks!

  2. double helpings of a thin line drawn too fat
    reflects mourning – too many mirrored warnings –
    and oh God we beg for more
    ……………………….we beg for more

    That is my favorite section of this poem. It has the reverence of a prayer.

    Why thank you very much, Sara for highlighting what these lines meant to you!

  3. The power, heart of this poem, thumps loud in the last three stanzas; human inclinations there, and clear, in your close.

    Good work.

    I love your new avatar, Christine! I always appreciate how you can feel the emotions and glean the gist of what you read. I’m lucky to have your feedback, my friend..:)

  4. I love what you have done here, as usual your word usage is superb. This is my favorite word “game” you employed:

    we die to love,
    we weep for joy –
    our worst our best,
    we love to death.

    Stay inspired my friend

    I love it when a reader notices word play and you’ve always been a careful reader of my pieces, Amanda. I feel so inspired when I learn that something works well and my reader points it out. How can I not stay inspired with the kind of support I get from you, my friend? {{{hugs}}}

  5. Where to start? There are some absolutely excellent lines in here. First of all, it reads like the washing the sea on the beach and visually it seems to resemble this. Which is very neat.

    The conversational tone is nicely augmented with some strong poetic images: lunar beach, drifting, ghostly recede, Dutch door (had to look that up… and I am from Holland, oh dear).

    And your usual good craftsmanship is on display with regards to the rhythm and other little poetic things. It all connects very well and I really enjoyed some of the wordplay (whales and wailings etc.).

    Good stuff as ever.

    I feel blessed to have you as a new reader of my blog, reluctantscribe. You seem to notice everything about a piece, and then you feed back valuable comments on what works. This is good for someone like me who has no formal education in literature and draws a blank when I’m told something like I display “good craftsmanship”. It prompts me to look up the definition and read more about the mechanics and techniques of poetry. I suppose if I continue to explore the nuts & bolts of good writing techniques, I might actually get good at this..:) I had to chuckle that you didn’t know what a Dutch door was, especially since you probably looked at them on a daily basis in Holland. ;> I know an author, Kenneth Tindall, who also lives in Holland. He’s a novelist, wrote The Banks of the Sea. Heard of him?

  6. hello and hello.

    images abound. i’d rethink some of your punctuation here and there.

    overall an enjoyable read.

    happy thanksgiving!!

    Hello backatcha, Scott. I hope you had a Happy Thanksgiving, too! Thank you for your feedback on this piece. I will definitely rethink the punctuation and make some changes; then I’ll pass it by you again, if it’s all right with you? I’m glad you enjoyed reading this one..:)

  7. weep for joy indeed. keep writing

    Thanks for stopping in, Jak. I don’t think anyone could stop me from writing at this point. For the rest of my life, I plan on writing long, deep and continuously..;>

  8. For me, one of the most intense lines of the poem is
    “Spartan thoughts fuel our bloated bodies
    engorged on luxuries”

    There is so much going on here. Very well done. I look forward to reading more!

    Wow. It’s great to know these lines meant something to you, quidam58. Makes it worthwhile for me to keep working at a concept until it “says it all” in the fewest words possible. I remember my effort to get this one. Thanks so much for telling me! You’ve made my day..:)

  9. I came to your site via In The Court of the White Bear after having read your eloquent comment. I am no authority on poetry. It is something which I have never given much time to until recent years. Your offering above was very enjoyable. Daring not to offer any personal interpretation I just want to say I liked it immensely.

    I tip my hat and slightly nod to the lady of elegance.

    We will return on another flight! BTW, I am adding you to my readers.

    Ato de…

  10. brought this to mind :-) —

    &

    & we confided,
    we collided
    our minds entwined
    in deference to
    nothing.

    & while we murmured
    whether ignorance
    or just providence
    kept us from
    hurting.

    & what remained
    was murderous
    all but inconspicuous
    need for something
    more.

    & when pacified
    woke feelings
    that left me confused
    dazed without any
    conclusion.

    Vimal Samuel
    Written on 11th October 2005

    Hello, again, Ivimalss. I really like your poem, especially these strong, opening lines:
    “we confided,
    we collided
    our minds entwined”
    I love how they sound and feel in my mouth while I read them out loud. Very, very nice!…:)

  11. :-)

    thanks

  12. I came back to read this one again. This whole section is fantastic and unforgettable. It breathes on its own.

    beg life
    from birth to earth’s end
    to learn what good come from this, when
    despair will reign the soul to cry

    &

    we die to love
    we weep for joy
    our worst our best
    we love to death


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