Posted by: janetleigh | March 29, 2008

Earthbound sunward

2ball.gif

The seeds which are me
shall be scattered
to the winds
that I might be born again

in tree,
roots and branches reaching
ambidextrous soil to sun

in bird,
wings of God-given freedom
perfection of flight

in man,
mind of wit and reason
soul enclosed its might

how like a man

…………………….a bird

…………………………… a tree

my restless soul
reaching to be free.


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Responses

  1. This feels very authentic to me. It feels like you and nature become one in this poem.

    Thank you, Sara! Do you have any suggestions that would make it better? I’m not totally pleased with it.

  2. like the structure. it’s inspirartion? however – can ya take some poetic crit?

    let me know.

    hope all is well.

    Can I take some crit? You know better than that.. of course I can! As long as it coincides with my leanings… heh heh ;>

  3. sorry – that last comment is from me.

    lol, I kinda thought it was from you, Scott, cuz you always want to tweak work..:) You know I welcome constructive criticism.. And this piece is bothersome to me, too. I think it needs work and I’m open to any suggestions. Taking it is an altogether different animal though, yes? tee hee BTW, how are you doing? Hope life’s treating you well..:) I’ll be by shortly, too.

  4. Very lovely. Very free. Some day I aspire to untether my own verse again.
    So how do you feel about having vestiges of Emily Dickinson’s soul intertwined with your own?
    ;-) Skinner, aka MysticWino, pka BitterHermit

    AHA! You, chameleon, you! MysticWino? Now that’s richhhh! Love it. Not too sure what you mean about having vestiges of Dickinson’s soul intertwined with my own, tho. Are you trying to tell me something? Like, you sense some tiny genetic aura, or something like that?! Do tell Madame Oracle, o mystic one! And do untether, you!

  5. such a feeling of serenity i get from these words… very nicely done….

    Why thank you very much, Paisley! It gives the piece some hope..:) I’m not totally convinced this is the best I can do with this, tho, and do welcome any thoughts from you on how to improve on it. I’ll be visiting you shortly, my dear..:)

  6. i absolutely adore this, Janet – but am waiting to see what S. Thomas Summers suggests in terms of maybe tweaking a little here and there *heh …

    Oh, thank you very much, Shell..:) And, me too, me too, as far as what Scott would do to it with his mental scalpel. One very talented one, too, he! Again, I feel like I must say to you, too, that I’ll be stopping by soon. I love to read your poems! Talk about talent! You may leave me comments and suggestions on how I can re-work this piece, if you like, too.

  7. Hello, Friends!
    Crap never ends, does it? My recent disappearing act happened at the beginning of last week. I had an awful scare over my husband that put him in the hospital, but he’s home now and doing fine. One thing I’d like to say about this episode is that when he was being taken into the Emergency Room, the nurse told me to wait in the ER lobby and she’d come back for me in a minute. She knew I was his wife. That minute lasted 20 minutes and made me extremely anxious and finally very angry. I found out later that it’s not hospital policy, but rather it’s up to the ER nurse who decides who goes in with the patient. This made me furious because she hadn’t even talked with me before taking my husband into the treatment area. I can understand if I was hysterical or something, but I tend to remain calm in crises. I was furious because my husband was sent from our doctor’s office (at the hospital) to the ER because they thought he might be having a heart attack. Our doctor was on vacation and the PA advised we do this. The doctor’s office is in the professional wing of the hospital but the walk to the ER was long and I arrived almost at the same time as my husband and he was at the treatment door when the nurse told me to stay, even after I told her I was his wife. My husband asked her to let me go with him. The reason I’m bringing this up is two-fold; to let you know why I’ve been away but moreso to let you know that apparently this is happening more and more at hospitals. I told my doctor about this yesterday at the followup visit) and he told me I should have pressed past the nurse while saying boldly, “I’m going in with him!” All of this is premised on the fact I wanted to be with him if he died having a heart attack. The thought of him dying while looking into the faces of strangers hovering over him almost did me in. If you feel like I do about this, please don’t let it happen to you. Just push past and insist on going in with your spouse. Thanks for letting me get this off my chest..:) (/rant)

  8. Very very very well done! I have rarely read such unique style!

    Why thank you very much for the lovely compliment and Welcome to Poetmeister, Cendrine. I hopped over to your blog and was immediately filled with joy to read your blog title And They All Rejoiced along with the sun & moon motif. Made me think of a poem of mine titled You. Your front page is very lovely and inviting. I shall be returning to your blog soon. I have much to catch up with here at the moment, but I liked what I saw on my short visit and love to explore new poets. Again, thanks for dropping in…:)

  9. Janet, i’m useless at describing tweaks so am taking the liberty of posting what they’d look like … please don’t think i’m re-writing your poem … keep or discard any of this … there are no doubt tweaks within the tweaks … all i sought to do was offer possible options …

    seeds which are me
    scatter to the winds
    borne again

    in tree,
    root and branch
    hold soil to sun
    (hold sun?)

    in bird,
    flight’s perfection

    restless

    in man,
    mind of wit and reason
    soul enclosed its might

    how like a man

    …………………… a bird

    …………………………… a tree

    …………………… a soul

    Wow! This is great, Shell! And, I think it’s more than tweaking; it really is a re-write and I really don’t mind that you did this..:) It helps me to see why I wasn’t totally satisfied with how I went about it.. but I’d feel guilty to advertise it as my own if I were to use it. Hmmm.. now I’m in a quandry. lol I don’t think your rendition should be messed with or stuff extrapolated from it because it all works so well “as is”. How about you keeping it and putting “inspired by janetleigh’s lame-o” attributed to it? lol I’m joshing here so laugh with me – I wasn’t being sarcastic or anything like that. I’m serious about yours standing on its own (except for honing the ‘hold soil to sun’ line). I like it better than mine! lol I guess I should hold out until I see Scott’s re-write before deciding what to do here. But, damm, grrl, you looking for an editorial job?! hee hee

  10. Janet – noooo! the inspirational vision and poem are yours! sometimes i can be very intuitive and all i did was tune into YOU …. your muse allowed this … i take no authorial credit but am totally ecstatic that you liked what came out of it. IT’S ALWAYS YOURS! Please accept the gift of yourself, returned to you …

    geez, how pompous do i sound today?? *LOL

    No, you’re much too kind and generous to me, Shell, and now I feel like I’ve stepped out of bounds regarding your initial plea to not think you were re-writing my poem; my sounding cavalier makes me face the ignoramous I can be at times. LOL!

  11. er .. do editors get, like, a mercedes to go to the supermarket in?? *hopeful look*

    Not in my world, they don’t! But nice try. My editors get in-line skates and tunafish sandwiches for lunch! *hysterical laughter*

  12. Good evening Janetleigh
    Sorry to hear that your husband has been unwell, I wish him a speedy recovery.
    I love this poem and find it speaks volumes in itself!!
    What I like about your poems is that you’re unique and individual and that your writing expresses itself in a perfect way :-)

    Oh and by the way I am just like you I can not cook either!! ;-)

    Thank you so much for your kind comments, Stacey..:) Hubby-bubba (he wouldn’t like this endearment, hee hee) is feeling a lot better and I’m touched by your concern (as well as all others!). And thank God I’m not the only wiffey who doesn’t cook. Actually, after we got married, I told him I wouldn’t cook and clean up after meals. Since he loves to cook, I signed up for the easier job of ‘cleaning up afterwards’ which consists of putting the dishes in the dishwasher, right? Sounds easy, doesn’t it? Well, it’s not, altogether, because he manages to use every, and I mean every, utensil, bowl, pot & pan, and I think he plays with the food before he cooks it. Flour, salt, seasoning and bits of food and sauce all over the counters and stove when he cooks. I mean, how the hey does he do it..?!

  13. A stunning poem. A bird in soft-flowing flight.

    Thank you, Cynthia, and Welcome to Poetmeister!

  14. I like it, I like it a lot.

    Thanks, Noah, your opinion means a lot to me..:) As you probably know, I have a backlog of things to do, but I shall be stopping by your blog and other of my favorite blogs before too long. I so enjoy your work and lively imagination..!

  15. This is beautiful, glad you found me cos now I’ve found you. (And sorry about your husband, some hospital staff can be so unsympathetic).

    Thanks so much for stopping in, johemmant, and Welcome, Welcome to Poetmeister! I’m so glad I read Rick Mobbs blog pretty regularly because that’s how I found you and your lovely poem to accompany Rick’s fabulous painting. The two blend so perfectly! I’ve added you to my Blogroll so my other readers can read and enjoy your beautiful poems, too!

  16. Hi Janetleigh, hope that hubby is feeling a bit better!
    Thank you for all your lovely comments on my blog (Ihave left you replies ) but for some reason
    the comment you left on “His special World” did not appear when you left it (these computers have a mind of there own sometimes )(lol)-and with answer to your question it’s “yes” it would be my pleasure, I have left you a reply on “His special world” as well with answer to your other question, a big thank you Janetleigh-this time you put a smile on my face :-)

    Stacey! Welcome back! Thanks for your concern for my hubby-bubba. He is feeling much better. I so enjoy your blog and especially your finely-tuned sense of humor. Humor will get us through anything life’s ugly twin cares to throw in our faces, believe you me! ;> Yes, I was quite taken by His Special World and I feel honored to share it with readers of Poetmeister 4 Poets!
    (It’s on my short To-Do list :) And, I’m always glad to put a smile on someone’s face – I’m pleased it was yours!

  17. No the crap never ends, but sometimes the smell disappears and the stains become barely noticeable. I love your poetry and haiku and jestkus. I’ll be back!!

    LOL. Thanks for putting a smile on my face tonight..:) Wow. What an honor! Thank you for stopping in, Pat, and Welcome to Poetmeister. I’ve been a lurker at your blog, but I’ve recently decided to jump in and let you know how I feel about your poems. You’re an astute observer of Life and have a true gift for poetry. You know your craft well and I marvel at your work. I was so very sorry to learn of your friend’s passing.. and that poem slayed me to the bones, seriously. Please do come back when time permits, Pat..:) I hope you don’t mind that I’ve provided my readers a link to your site. I don’t want them to miss a good thing!

  18. this is very good… very logical, beautifully written!!

    Thank you so much, awsiv!

  19. Your title mesmerizes me, who have always wondered about the heavenly bodies, and having versified the human yearning to be free, the human soul, it’s so…I’m at a loss for words, dear me…spiritual and metaphysical and so true. I love it. Your images are in my mind and I’m content.

    I agree with you with your sharing. Why can’t they just be sensitive to the feelings of loved ones? You’re right, I’ll do the same thing. I hope everything’s okay with your hubbie.

    That you enjoyed this piece puts a smile on my face, my friend. And as I always like to say, like attracts like. We are kindred spirits, indeed..:)

  20. Love the Title. Love the feel of the poem too. You have felt it too, that feeling of restlessness and wanting to be Free -That “Free” that goes beyond the feeling of Freedom.

    Thank you for your kind thoughts, mysoul, and it does my heart good to know another kindred spirit who understands those things which are unseen and unspoken. We are simpatico..:)

  21. Damn, I love in-line skates and I love tuna sandwiches, but there is not much to edit to this poem. I like the atmosphere it creates and the rhythm of it.

    If it remains bothersome to you, how about zooming in more on the details of the tree and the bird? What tree are you thinking of? What do its branches remind you of? The same for the bird…Being a fellow twitcher I’d love to hear what kind of birds you can see in your garden obviously :) And what do their wings remind you of?

    Having said that, I think the poem works very well the way it is, though.

    HaHa! Too late, my friend! My readers before you have talked me into liking it more and more.. ;> I shall put it aside for a while before cropping it, but I’ve taken in all the exceeelent advice and suggestions, even S. Thomas Summers “invisible” ones. heh heh

    I love your mental aerobics exercise, tho, and it is proving helpful. And since you asked, I’m thinking of a Patrick Henry (Osage Orange) tree (I have a direct descendant of Patrick Henry’s Osage Orange tree from his homestead in Red Hill, VA planted in our yard :), the branches have thorns so they remind me of a rose bush or barbed wire. (Sometimes even my hair when I awake.) I usually see hummingbirds (sur-prize!) hanging around my butterfly bushes. Their wings remind me of my mouth on caffeine. hee hee

    Now that I know even you think the poem works well the way it is, I may leave it alone period.

    Seriously, Ario, I always appreciate your input and thoughts; I know you put a lot of brain power, intuition, and artistic experience into your comments. You give the best crit..:)

  22. wonderful….i love the way you gather it in its typographical poise.
    and of course the metaphors whirling back into one another ….

    Shakir, it’s wonderful to see you here again! Thank you for your lovely thoughts about this little number..
    See you soon, too!

  23. Well, the responses are legion, so I will just weigh in as #24. EARTHBOUND SUNWARD is a very strong metaphysical and spiritual message, a teaching as well as a poem. I loved it, and did not feel it needed tweaking. I reprinted it on FFTR, with a new pic that I think you will like. Your view of life as lesson, poetry directly from cosmic consciousness is very hard hitting and refreshing. It is wonderful to get a peek of your soul here, and what a ravishing glittering overwhelming peek it was. My kind of poetry!

    Glenn


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