Remembrance (Revised)

Photo by Kirpernicus on Flickr

Remembrance V.1

I think I’ll always
remember you
in the early morning hours
just before dawn

when sky
is a velvet drape
melting colors
soft as raindrops;

a time
when everything is lazy
clouds majestic mountains
s-p-l-a-s-h-e-d
across sky in purple palette

trees cloaked
in sensuous beauty
swaying against indigo skies
stars like diamonds
falling at their feet

thinking

I’ll always remember you
in the early morning hours
when all I feel
is gentleness of morning
awakening

when all I hear is occasional bird in song
when all I know is peace within my heart

knowing.

Once again, I ask you, my gentle readers which version of this piece works for you, Version 1 or 2.   I appreciate any feedback you may offer.  I’m going through another spell where I want to tinker with my writing.  Just like I used to “tinker” with my hair when I was a young adult.*

Remembrance V.2

I think I’ll always remember you
in the early morning hours
just before dawn, when sky
is but a velvet drape, melting
colors soft as raindrops;
a time when everything is
lazy clouds, majestic mountains
splashed across the sky in purple
palette, trees cloaked in sensuous
beauty swaying against indigo skies,
stars like diamonds falling at their feet,
thinking, I’ll always remember you
in the early morning hours, when
all I feel is the gentleness
of morning about to awaken,
when all I hear is occasional bird in song,
when all I know is peace within my heart, knowing.

_________________
*I’d impulsively take scissors in hand and  snip and chop at my hair, always thinking I was improving on it, heh heh.  As a matter of fact, I think I had just tampered with it shortly before taking the photo known as my blog avatar.  Oh, here’s a good one – it just came to mind.  I used to tell my son, when he was a teen, that if he did anything weird with his looks, like get a mohawk, tatoos, or any piercings, stuff like that, that I would top it, knowing full well he’d be horrified.  And, he knew I’d do it, too. (wow.  That took a lot of nerve, considering all the times I changed my look while he was growing up.)  I’ll never forget the day I dropped him off with a babysitter when he was about 5-6 years old and then went to the hairdressers and got my long hair permed.  I came back hours later to pick Josh up, and when my babysitter opened the door, Josh peered out into the hallway, he didn’t know it was me, and he didn’t want to go home with me!  It took a while for us to convince him I was me.  What a scream, hunh?!